(Warning. This entry is very personal. May it
serve as an education about depression from an insider’s view. May it also
serve as an explanatory piece for my almost two year absence from this blog.
Read with discretion and heart or wait for the next piece about what I learned
this summer.)
I am back with my full passion for sharing the wonders of
this world. This is not a cavalier statement. It is an affirmation of coming
out of the deep, dark pit of depression to the level ground of a new normal.
In the last several years there has been a steady, spiraling
down of my bout with lifelong depression. I write this for educational purposes
so that others might find benefit for themselves or for someone they love.
During one year I had an extended battle with pneumonia or
chest pains that resulted in missing several, several days of school. This is
very uncharacteristic of me. I have had several, several years of perfect
attendance.
In another year, I was so lethargic and had such severe
chest pains that I was put in the hospital overnight to evaluate my heart. I
did have 75% blockage in one artery (90% requires surgery). Calcium blockers
got rid of the pain but not the persistent lethargy. Again I missed several,
several days of school.
During this last year, I finally reached the bottom of the
deep pit of depression, and this was amidst dealing with what turned out to be
my dad’s terminal illness (www.joeglennbanks.blogspot.com). Many days it was all I could do just to show
up; the stubborn persistence in the marrow of my bones got me through. No one seemed
to be able to help including my very patient and caring wife. Again I missed
more than several days of school.
However, despite all these depression drawbacks of fatigue
and physical symptoms and too much sleep and not enough sleep, I am out of the
pit and on level ground again. Part of this new normal is due to a change in life eating and exercise plan, and part due to a doctor directed regime of
meds. I have taken meds off and on during my adult life and generally
discounted their usefulness. No more. With dynamic combination, I am back on
track and heading full speed ahead with my mission in life emblazoned on the
horizon.
Now I am freer than ever to pursue my love for teaching and
learning and for writing. Stay tuned for what I learned this summer in three
very excellent workshops and how I plan to plant these newfound seeds in my
classroom this fall.
